The Witzard

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Tim Heidecker Pens Rock "N" Roll Parody About Jonathan Cheban's Grossly-exuberant $1,000 Gold-encrusted Chicken Wings (charity single)



"This is a quick track I put together, after reading about these disgusting gold-encrusted chicken wings 🍗 www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSub4951k9g

The first line from that a$$hole's interview jumped out at me as a good first lyric... I know nothing else about any of these people. I jumped to some conclusions. All proceeds go to LA FOOD BANK!"


Lyrics: "I became friends with Jonathan
Through the nightlife scene
I met him through The Kardashians
He was part of their social media team
I knew him from Instagram
Part of the bouichy Fancy Foodie Fam

We began talking about our dreams and what we'd like to do
We were both young and had come from means
And we wanted what'd get us that clickbait news

We could have done anything,
But we settled on gold-encrusted chicken wings (OH-OOOH WHY?)

We'd serve 'em up all through the night
Charge a thousand bucks for just one plate
And I have to admit, something didn't feel right,
But Jonathan's posts made it all seem great
If they buy it, must be good
Doing what a rich boy should
Trust funders ate it up—there was good press and some bad,
As long as it drove them through the door, even if it is just a stupid fad
We could have done anything,
But we settled on gold-encrusted chicken wing (OH-OOOH WHY?)

Jonathan needed to take some time
He had partied too hard. He had crossed that line
Everybody wanted them at their thing, get their selfie, and kiss that ring
He gave in and let it all go
Pose for the pictures, even if for show
Time moved on and the fad had passed
It haunts me that we didn't do more
We always knew that it wouldn't last
We should have fed the hungry and helped the poor
We could have done anything,
But we settled on gold-encrusted chicken wing (OH-OOOH WHY?)
We could have done anything,
But we settled on gold-encrusted chicken wing (OH-OOOH WHY?)

Jonathan died on his birthday—he had just turned 29
A wasted life has [been] thrown away,
Which remains intact up online
There ain't no water in Flint
There ain't no power in Puerto Rico
We could have done anything,
But we settled on gold-encrusted chicken wing (OH-OOOH WHY?)"

Credits: Released May 10, 2018
Played sloppily and quickly by me. Sorry for the sh**ty drums."